Christmas Card Demands

May 23, 2012

in Uncategorized

Taking family pictures for the Christmas card has never been an easy feat in our house. I have two children, one is famously camera-shy, the other is famously not. Together it makes for a nerve-wracking photo session with at least one child in tears and me very darn near homicidal rage.

In other words, I dread family picture time…

When it’s the four of us we normally hire someone, but when it’s just the boys I go at it myself. I have two terrific cameras that need a work-out now and then, so I might as well use them. My camera skills are adequate and even though the boys suffer through this as much as I do, it isn’t the posing and smiling that breaks me down, it’s the terrorist type negotiations of the oldest boy who can bring me to an all out melt down.

The oldest boy refuses to do a christmas card picture unless I reward him.

I must mention that the boy is 17 1/2 years old. He isn’t a toddler you are trying to bribe. His tactics are right out of a hostage negotiation handbook. There have been years (many of them) that I have left him out of the family Christmas picture because, just like the United States, I refuse to negotiate with a terrorist.

And he is stubborn.

One year for Christmas he demanded $1,000 dollars. It was the only thing on his Christmas list and he wasn’t budging. It was a $1,000 or nothing. It came down to midnight on Christmas Eve and he was still holding firm on his demand. He swore that any gift we bought him would be destroyed, trashed and discarded so it was a waste of our money to get him anything other than the $1,000. We stuck to it and on Christmas morning the kid had nothing to open.

And he was fine with it.

In some strange way he felt he had won. He had stuck to his guns and held us down and we had complied with his demands.

In his eyes, he won.

That just shows you what kind of kid I’m dealing with…

For pictures it starts out the same way. “I’ll go to the park you’re taking the picture at if you buy me a 4×4 In-n-Out burger.” Then it starts growing “I’ll wear the clothes you want me to wear if you buy me an X-Box.” And as we get closer, the his demands start getting more intense. “I’ll stand with my brother if you buy me a car” or “I’ll smile if you buy me a plane ticket to Hawaii.”

And then my counter demands/negotiations start to kick in.

“Put the damn clothes on or you’re not getting you damn allowance this week!”

“You will stand there and smile or I am taking away for your TV!”

Eventually I wear the kid down. After all these years he is finally starting the realize I have the power and I am not afraid to use it.

It took almost two hours and over 147 pictures, but here is one of the four that actually came out.

Whew.

Happy Holidays…I think.

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1 Lori Edgerton November 23, 2012 at 1:43 pm

And it’s awesome! LOL

2 Sandi November 23, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Thanks Lori! It took a lot of pain and suffering but we perservered!

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