Growing Up

May 23, 2013

in Uncategorized

goalsMy oldest son is on the verge of graduating. This is great news considering there were days (okay…years…) where we weren’t sure that was going to happen. So we are excited about his impending diploma and turning 18 (because there were days we didn’t think that would happen either!)

The problem is that he has no plans whatsoever for the future.



In his defense he has thrown out a few ideas of what he wants to do, but if you want my opinion they aren’t really ideas they are more like a grandiose fantasies.

1) Attend Annapolis on a full ride scholarship.

2) Be  Warehouse Manager making $145K a year. Apparently his ‘frien’ (with no D) has connections and can hook him up.

3) Become an Electrician. This one actually sounded exciting until he informed us that he wasn’t willing to go to school or become an apprentice and that he would just “figure it out” as he went along. As he says “it can’t be that hard, it’s just all red and black wires…”

4) Be a 5 Star General. I’m not sure what branch although I don’t think that matters much at this point.

5) Attend college to run Cross Country. This also sounded promising until he said he had no intention of taking any classes, he just wanted to run.

6) Make 100K a year as a video game consultant. Again, his ‘frien’ (with no D) has connections and can hook him up. I’m not sure if it is the same ‘frien’ (with no D) or another ‘frien’ (with no D) but either way I have a hard time believing this as a valid option.

We’ve given him a few ideas, none of which he is interested in. Trade schools, college, work, career opportunity, to go work the summer with “The Daddies” at their campground, giving himself some time to find himself and figure out what he wants to do.

He wants nothing to do with any of it.

His Navy option is gradually fading away. He hasn’t been interested in returning their phone calls or completing the mandatory paperwork. We don’t want to push on this one, it has to be 100% on him. I don’t want him to sign up for four years because I strong armed him into it. Fighting for your country and the possible pit falls of doing so needs to be his own decision.

And with all of that, here we are.

Still no plan, no ideas, no direction.

The only plus side to this is that he has decided to move out as soon as he graduates high school. While we are not encouraging him to move out, we aren’t discouraging it either. In fact, I’ll help him pack. I will even spring for the U-Haul.

I’m a giver like that.

Frankie is one of those kids that isn’t going to get “it” until “it” smacks him in the face. He believes that our rules are tortuous, our chores too much, our allowance too little, our clothes too cheap, our cooking too mundane. He can easily do all of this on his own and cook rib eye steaks every night without having to let anyone know what time he will be home.

So we say, go for it! Eat that steak!

I’m sure when the time comes it won’t be so easy to let him go, but maybe thats his plan. Just to move out and get his two feet on the ground. He has never done that before, he is a mamas boy. We have always had to swoop in and save the day, pick up his laundry, drop off the lunch he forgot at home, beg the teacher to pass him…I could go on and on.

Maybe in the simple terms, his plan is to just grow up and prove to himself he can do it.

Some kids go to college, others work. Maybe he just wants to be the man he knows he can be.

Either way, we are rooting for him.

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