Happy National Best Friends Day!

June 8, 2014

in Friendship

margiedmpI think that friendships mean different things to different people. Who you choose to spend your time with, no scratch that, who you choose to invest in, varies from person to person. We all need different things at different times and then you add in your kids and spouses social life and the water gets muddied. I mean, there are only so many hours in the day to spend with people so you gotta make them count. We pick and choose as best we can throughout our lives and hope that some of those people who land in your path stay for the long run. No one knows up front if that person can hang on while life keeps changing at a blink of an eye, you just hope that the ones you connect with make an effort to stay.

Friendships are like marriages, they require work, respect and loyalty. They also require non-judgment and trust. You can’t play games or think you are better than someone or think you are less than. Friends, true friends, stand next to each other on equal footing. You appreciate each others successes and pick each other up after the failures. It’s then, in that rare occurrence,  you realize that the friend standing in front of you is a valuable one. Sometimes it’s hard to find those traits in a single person. I’ve been blessed to find those traits more than once and in more than one person.

It’s like winning the lotto, or finding a four leaf clover or the needle in the haystack.

wmsI’ve had great friends, fun friends, work friends and friends that have come and gone in my 46 years. Some I miss horribly and others, uh, not so much. I’ve had toxic friendships that led to heartache and I’ve had people I thought would be with my for the long haul check out with no opportunity of return. I’ve put up with people, I’ve had one sided friendships and I have created a few of those where the shoe is on the other foot. I have laughed, cried, grieved, yelled at hung up on and ignored friends. Some I wish I had a do over with and others, well lets just say the end was for the best.

The thing it comes down to with me is the best friendships are the easiest.

It doesn’t seem like its all work and compromise. It just fits. Everyone rolls with the punches and the give and take is without any resentment. There is a casualness to being together and an ease of companionship. There is a depth of trust that can’t be put into words and a complete and utter lack of judgment you just don’t get from anyone else.

twitter phI’ve always said that ‘coming out’ to these two was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Not because I was ashamed or embarrassed of who I fell in love with, but because the thought of losing them because I had dramatically changed from the person they thought they knew .

It gave me ulcers.

I should have known it wouldn’t be an issue, and hasn’t been over the past 20 years. When you find people who truly love and accept you as a person things like being gay are a non-issue.

As it should be.

So today take a minute to appreciate those BFF’s that have come and entered your life and made it a better place. Wish well those who have come and gone and raise a glass to those who have stayed.

#nationalbestfriendday

PS: Last week I Twittered the TV show Playing House that star two of TV’s most recent set of real life best friends Lennon Parham and Jessica St. Clare and my tweet got favorite and re-tweeted! If you know these two and watch their show you know that this is like the holy grail of anointing your friendship. Super fun and exciting!

1 Mom June 8, 2014 at 8:00 pm

You have always been there, and you are the best of the best.

2 Sandi June 8, 2014 at 9:48 pm

Kathy- I feel the same way about the other two!

3 Sandi June 16, 2014 at 5:15 pm

Kathy- Thank you. I feel the same way about the girls!

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