I Got Bit By a Fish. Seriously.

September 9, 2013

in Family, Friendship, Travel

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI have been to Catalina Island four times in my life. And I’m pretty sure they are going to eventually wise up and ban me from the island.

The first time I went I was probably about 10 years old and all I remember is that the island has flying fish (really, I’m not making this up) and that my parents sent me and my sister out in the ocean on old school paddle boards made out of 2X4’s to go look at the sharks.

Seriously. “Here, swim out on this flimsy board and go play with the sharks.”

Because that was how parenting was done back then.

Or at least it was in my house.

The next time I went to Catalina, I was with my boyfriend Frank and his family. It was the first time I had spent any serious amount of time with his Mom and  I was so worried that she wouldn’t like me that I got shit faced drunk with his sister on the boat ride over to the island.  Instead of sight seeing, his sister and I spent the entire day laying on the beach, wrapped up in a big beach towel being paranoid that we really weren’t on an island and that maybe the boat ride was just a trick to make us feel like we had traveled a great distance when we really hadn’t.

Editors note: His Mom ended up not liking me at all. Not.One.Bit. But his sister loved me and eventually we became great friends and then she came out of the closet and then her Mom hated her too and we had even more in common. Not that I had anything to do with her coming out of the closet (really, I didn’t) but looking back maybe it was a sign that I should have took more interest in Frank’s sister than with Frank.

My third trip to Catalina was during a pit-stop of a 3 day cruise to Mexico. Unfortunately, the cruise was booked when Cheryl was layed up with all of her surgeries, so my gay friend Paul offered to be my date for the trip. We spent the entire time on the cruise pretending to be newlyweds on our Honeymoon so everyone kept buying us drinks.  By the time we arrived in Catalina we were 24 hours into our bender and had no desire to stop drinking. We spent our Catalina shore excursion sitting in the window seat of a Mexican restaurant, eating chips and guacamole, doing tequila shots and yelling “Yo’ Mama” jokes to anyone who walked by. We were there for four hours and our bar tab was over $300.

For two of us.

So when I ventured back to Catalina this Sunday with family in tow, I really didn’t have any great expectations, except to not get drunk and actually see some of the island. It was a beautiful day, the water was clear and the weather was perfect! There is a TON to do in Catalina and we decided to not over extend our trip and just kinda plan it as we go since we didn’t know what the weather or crowds would bring. After a yummy breakfast (yum, yum, yum!) we headed out to the beach for a snorkel. I am a big fan of the ocean and love to snorkel. And Catalina is one of the most beautiful places in California to snorkel. There are lots of fish and wild life to see and he water is crystal clear blue with unbelievable visibility. It couldn’t get any better!

And then a fish bit me.

That’s right. The mother fucker bit me!

In my defense, I did not provoke the fish in any way. I did not tell it an offending “Yo’ Mama” joke or anything of the sort. I was just pointing it out to Margie because it was a BIG fish and really close to her and I didn’t want it to bite her. Apparently, the BIG fish didn’t like the fact that I had warned Margie and decided to try to eat three of my fingers.

BTW- I am not the least bit embarrassed about how loud I screamed.









This is the after picture.

I didn’t take a before picture because I wasn’t expecting to have to do a side by side comparison of my hand before and after a fish bite. You will just have to use your imagination.

After all that, now I am wondering if it’s Catalina or if it’s me?

I mean, I tend to get myself into predicaments (I swear they find me, but my wife is convinced I am the catalyst.) But seriously, I seem to have an above average percentage of strange mishaps that happen to me on that island.

Maybe it’s the same ju-ju that makes the fish fly?

That seems like a legit excuse to me!

1 Shelley September 9, 2013 at 9:17 pm

All that comes to my mind is “Boss, de plane, de plane!” Welcome to Fantasy Island.

2 Sandi September 11, 2013 at 8:13 am

Shelley- LOL! It was kinda like that!

3 Bonnie September 23, 2013 at 12:40 pm

Oh good lord. I needed a laugh and this post did the trick. Brilliant ! Sorry about your fingers tho…

4 Sandi September 23, 2013 at 7:41 pm

Thanks Bonnie! It was a great trip and my fingers a healing fine!

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