Someone needs to grow up…I hope it happens soon.

June 18, 2013

in Uncategorized

postmomThe other day I was carrying in the groceries when my oldest drove up on his bike, I politely asked him to help me carry in the 20+ bags and he said no.

I’m gonna repeat that for those of you that didn’t hear it.

I asked my son to help carry in the groceries and he said NO.

Capital N. Capital O.

I just about lost my shit right there on the driveway.

Over years of having a child that tantrums, throws fits and can be so stubborn it takes hours to get his ass out the door, I’ve grown into a somewhat patient parent. With all of that I just mentioned, you have to be patient or you would literally implode 5-6 times per day. His comment almost made me make an exception to my rule.

This is the kid that does nothing around the house to help us out. And when I say nothing, I mean nothing. He does not take out the trash, mow the lawn, wash dishes, and obviously he does not help carry in the groceries. He does not do chores in any shape or size. He does not help one iota. Sure, we can make him help. Been there, tried that. It normally results in broken dishes, broken sprinklers or a broken vacuum… Making him do anything is just simply not worth it.

I don’t want you to think he gets away with it. He is almost 18 and has a job so he is perfectly capable of buying his own groceries, replacing things he has broken and can somewhat cook his own food. The closer he gets to that magic number, the more we are letting him figure things out for himself.

A few weeks ago he took all the clothes we bought him that he didn’t like and threw them in the trash.

When it got cold and he needed those brand new long sleeve shirts that he just got for Christmas. You know, the ones that he threw away. He asked for us to buy him more.

Uh, no. I don’t think so Bud.

But I will happily drive your ass to Old Navy where you can purchase some more shirts at your own expense.

Last night he came downstairs at 9:00pm and wanted dinner. We had already eaten at 6 and there was no way I was gonna cook a meal on his timeline or save him a plate if he can’t grace us with his presence when we sit down to eat as a family. So, he had sandwiches for dinner. For those of you keeping track, he had sandwiches 5 out of 5 nights this week. While we are on the subject, he also didn’t have lunch all 5 days this week because he refuses to make his own. He wants Cheryl or I to make it or he will go to school and complain to anyone who will listen that we are intentionally starving him. This may have worked when he was little, but I doubt anyone is buying his bull shit now that he is almost a full-grown man.

It’s a battle of wills, and I refuse to give in to his demands.

We, as parents, expect a lot from our boys. I truly believe that how young men treats their mama’s is a good indication of how they are going to treat their wives and daughters in the future. We expect respect, helpfulness and courteousness. I want them to help out around the house, I want heavy lifting (especially since they are both bigger than me) and I want them to learn how to cook, how to do laundry, how to mop a floor and how to hold open a door. I expect a “yes, mom” when I ask a question and eye contact and firm handshake when greeting someone. I expect them to write thank you cards for gifts, a phone call to grandparents to check in and not to be interrupted when I am on the phone or involved in another conversation. I expect a clean and unstinky kid, I expect a phone call when you are running late and I expect to know where you are and who you are with. I expect you to have a conversation with me and not yell at me from another room. I expect a good morning and a good night and a hello when you return home from an outing. I expect you to respect our home and not destroy it. I expect you to make an effort in our relationship and be respectful of my position as your parent.

While this list is long, I don’t think it’s too much to ask.

So he will live here under our rules or he will not. The choice is entirely up to him.

Check out Oophs 15 things a Mom should teach her boys.

What would you add to my list and the Ooph list?

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